"To bring light to the lives of others."

We cannot underestimate the power of encouragement. As I was on the way to fix my cell phone, in the Givat Shaul neighborhood, of Jerusalem, I passed by an old friend waiting at the bus stop. After the standard "Shalom aleichem" I inquired as to how he was doing. He answered, "Baruch Hashem", yet seemed quite depressed. I proceeded on my way, but after giving the matter some thought, I decided to turn back. Perhaps I could be of assistance. I returned to the bus stop and asked if there was anything I could do. He said that nothing could be done, however he seemed to have appreciated my show of concern. A few months later my friend brought me a letter containing the following story about a non-Jew, named Kyle.

"One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw Kyle, a kid from my class, walking home from school, carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, ‘Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?’ I had quite a weekend planned, so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They purposely knocked all his books out of his arms and tripped him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

"My heart went out to him, so I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. I handed him his glasses and said, ‘Those guys are wild animals. They really shouldn’t be let loose on the streets.’ He looked at me and said, ‘Hey thanks!’ There was a big smile on his face, one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books. As it turned out, he lived near me. I had never seen him before, because he used to attend a private school. I would never have hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried half his books. He turned out to be a pretty nice kid. I invited him to play football with me and my friends. We spent all weekend together and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him; my friends liked him, too.

"On Monday morning, there was Kyle with that huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, ‘Boy, you are really gonna build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!’ He just laughed and handed me half his books.

"Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When graduation came around, Kyle was valedictorian of our class. He had to prepare a speech.

"On graduation day, Kyle looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. But at that moment I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So I smacked him on the back and said, ‘Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!’ He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. ‘Thanks,’ he said, and walked up to the podium to speak.

" ‘Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years,’ he said. ‘I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give. I am going to tell you a story.’ Then I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He described how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later, and he was carrying all his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. ‘Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.’

"I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. Not until that moment did I realize its depth."

As I continued to read the letter, I noticed that my friend added an extra paragraph. " The day you met me by the bus stop I was contemplating committing suicide. My situation seemed so hopeless. It was only because you showed sincere interest that I changed my mind. Thank you for caring."

When we show care or express our love to others, we are in effect sending them a message telling them that they are important, and even more significant, that they are accepted.

David (not his real name), a talmid chacham who was studying in a kollel, once received a wedding invitation accompanied by a hand-written note from the chatan expressing his strong wish and sincere hope that David attend his wedding. While he recognized the chatan’s name, David did not remember having had any special relationship with him. At the wedding, when an opportune moment presented itself, David approached the chatan and asked him how he had come to merit receiving a personalized, handwritten note with his invitation.

"Because of you I remained in yeshivah!" The chatan explained. "When I first entered the yeshivah I had no friends at all and I was so lonely. After I had spent a few weeks there, I decided to return home. On the last Shabbat before I was to leave, as we were waiting in line to say "Shabbat Shalom" to the Rosh Yeshivah, I felt someone touching my jacket. I turned around and saw you – smiling at me in a friendly way – adjusting my collar, which had not been lying flat as it should. It was at that moment that I began to feel I belonged, and I made up my mind there and then to stay in yeshivah – because of you!"

In speaking of giving love and wramth to others, a point must be emphasized: that these feelings must be expressed, not just felt inside.

We must smile to our children often. Likewise we must tell them in clear, direct language how much we love them and how much we enjoy having them around. It is also imperative that at times we joke and laugh with our children. All this is part of creating a genuine relationship with them.

In addition to expressing our love to our children with words, we must do so with actions. Set aside time to get to know your child: What are his interests? What makes him happy? What gets him upset? Fostering close, loving relationships with our children is the essence of "bringing light to the lives of others". Are our children any less worthy, of receiving our care and warmth, than others?

These acts we do, show love to our children and make them feel important; but more than that, they make them feel accepted. They make them feel that they belong.

With sincere wishes for your hatzlachah and siyata diShemaya,