Practical Chinuch in Our Turbulent
Times- by Rabbi Dov Brezak Director Project Kavey, Yerushalayim
Rabbi Brezak’s new book, "Chinuch in Turbulent Times", can be ordered through Art scroll-Mesorah publishing, or purchased at your local book store.
Click on link to Order Chinuch in Turbulent Times On Line from Artscroll.com
I am sure that you are all too familiar with the term, " Bar- mizva" commonly used to connote a Jewish male reaching his thirteenth birthday, at which time he is required to keep all of the mizvot.
I am not sure that you are familiar with the term, "Bark- mizva". Indeed the reform and conservative movements have invented a new concept. A Bar- mizva for dogs.
As one woman put it, "If I am Jewish my dog is as well."
Some "Bark mizvas" are celebrated in the pet stores with friends of the bark mizva boy, oops I mean dog, attending and receiving a cake in the shape of a bone.
One reform temple decided to have a communal Bark mizva, and some sixty dogs were in attendance. Of course the affair was held in the parking lot so as to avoid any "accidents", which may have put a damper on the happy occasion. In fact at this event there was a prize awarded for the dog that acted the most Jewish.
In case you do not believe me I have in my possession a newspaper article describing all of the above. It includes a picture of a dog at his (or her) "Bark mizva" wearing a special kipa and talit designed for the occasion. (No, I am not joking.)
What will they think of next?
For those who stray from the Torah, even the constraints of common sense and normalcy are no longer applicable. One can bend the Torah as they wish, (Heaven forbid) just to further their personal goals.
I’m reminded of an incident I witnessed not long ago
In Israel, a red-and-white marking on the curb means parking is forbidden. One day as I was approaching my office in the Geula section of Jerusalem, I saw a person who had just parked his van alongside a red-and-white line. If that was all he did, it would hardly be worth mentioning here. But this fellow had an original approach. He got out of the car with a can of black spray paint and began to spray the sidewalk black, covering up the red-and-white markings.
I am reminded of the verse, "v’lo taturu acharei levavchem veacharei eineichem, do not stray after your heart and after your eyes (Bamidbar 15:39). With good reason, the holy Torah places the heart before the eyes. This teaches us the power of bias; one sees only that which he wishes to see. The desires of our heart are so powerful, they can distort even the truth we see with our own two eyes.
If the heart has such a powerful influence and can serve the proponents of falsity with such success, why not use it to further our own cause? Imagine how much we stand to gain if we have a bias to pursue the truth!
This can be an especially powerful piece of information regarding our children. Imagine how much stronger our influence will be if we create a bias for them with regard to Torah and mitzvot. If we get them not only to be at the Shabbat table but to want to be at the Shabbat table, how much stronger will be their commitment to Judaism!
Next: Using incentives at the Shabbat table; is it chinuch?
With sincere wishes for your success and siyatta diShemaya,
Rabbi Dov Brezak
Rabbi Brezak’s tape series, "Chinuch Concepts 1& 2" can be ordered through Irgun Shiurei Torah at (718) 851-8651.
Readers respond
Dear Rabbi Brezak,
My 6th child is going to be bar mitzvah at the end of this summer.
He is an average student on the slower side. He is not rebelious but
he is not really excited about anything in religious areas. He
really is still a young child, enjoys running around, playing baseball
etc. He is not interested in going to minyan to daven although he
always davens at home and sometimes even seems to pay attention to the
words. My question is about how I should handle the minyan issue.
My husband does not go to minyan usually during the week. Some of my
older sons go to minyan most of the time but others only go once in a
while. In this kind of a family what is the best way to handle this
issue. My instinct is to gently encourage him to go, maybe with a
reward system but not to push the issue at all. My thinking is that I
would like to leave this a neutral issue so that when he is older he will
be open to going and this won't be a battleground topic. I feel that
since the role modeling around here is not good only bad feeling can be
accomplished by pushing the topic too much. Do you think this is the
right approach? Do you have any other suggestions?
Answer next week G-d willing.
Please forward your thoughts on this question and other suggestions to
Rabbi Brezak can be reached, year-round, by fax at (718) 338-2533, or email rabbibrezak@torahcenter.com